i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
