I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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