On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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