just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
