In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
