just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize