She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
