went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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