I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
