just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
