i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
