They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
