I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
