He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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