We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
