His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
