Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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