I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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