Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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