Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
