there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
