I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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