She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
