Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
