my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
