He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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