So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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