We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
