I want to stick my p in your. b.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
