capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
