I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
