I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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