Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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