I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
