Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
