I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
These tits shall not be calmed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize