I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
