I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
