She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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