i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
