Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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