AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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