Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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