I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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