she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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