While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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