It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
