i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
