This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
