I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
