He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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