So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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