just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
