I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
