Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
