If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
