worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
