Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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