my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
