so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
