i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
