Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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