Kiss
Puke
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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