my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
