Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
