Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The air was thick with penises
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
