i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
