I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
