Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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