Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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