dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
