been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
