Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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