Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
