Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
