I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
