I just threw up on my dentist
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
