If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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