I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
