I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
