I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
