We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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