either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
